The picture above was supposed to be a photo of my filthy and fucked up bike after another year of couriering but The Pistette lost the cable that plugs into the camera* so I've just had to scan the whole camera instead...
looks shit.
That's another decade in the bag, somehow HOP has managed to get through another year without starting an online shop although with the header designed it can't be that much longer til it becomes a reality:
This year has ended with a lot fewer riders on the road. It was looking really bad for the bike messenger at points this year and not just financially: Ten years ago people would say couriers look like Pirates ( if they liked you ) or Homeless ( if they didn't ) nowadays they nearly call security because they think you're a suicide bomber... times have changed. I personally had to spend most of my none riding days printing shirts for other people to keep myself in the manner to which I'm accustomed, which meant there was little progress with HOP stuff.
Fortunately the year ended with a proper Christmas rush on the road so it looks like bike couriers won't be going the way of the Buffalo hunter just yet.
HOP's general hope for the new decade is a return to the days when you could get a kicking just because of the sort of music you listen to.
On that note:
HAPPY NEW YEAR
MTHRFCKRS
*This was pretty much her last task as a member of HOP as she's off to Austria for the next six months to lose things for Swarovski as part of her real job. No one is sure what exactly she will be doing there but she plans to learn the ancient art of "Blinging" things ( she has plans to try to "Bling" a sausage and a dogshit ) a task she's taking so seriously she even got the tooth that couriering claimed fixed back into her head.
POSER!
This departure leaves an opening for a girl of equal hotness to come in and replace her for the next half a year. Your main tasks will be moving things and then forgetting where you put them and never fixing your bike even though we know fine well you know how to. An aptitude for burping and farting would help but is not a requirement.
All applications should be made in writing to the address at the top of the page.
