Mr Joe Quimby
At H.O.P. we're not that bothered about how well you place in contests, it's the being part of it that counts, which is something raging alcoholic Joe is good at, so he is under no pressure to bring home results.
This leaves him free to concentrate on this other thang which is being the singer with Take A Worm For A Walk Week who've just signed an international record deal. They've been referred to as Spazzcore and Kerrang! magazine called them a band "with all the mainstream appeal of a snuff movie". We would call them a Rock band based on the H.O.P. Universal Music Genre Guide :
Electric guitars with distortion - ROCK
Electric guitars without distortion - INDIE
Acoustic guitars - FOLK
Electronic instruments - TECHNO
Everything else - JAZZ
They're about to go on tour at all these places:
TUE 4 Mar - 20:00 THE ENGINE ROOM - wi. With Scissors, Orion Arm, Xmas lights - BRIGHTON
WED 5 Mar - 20:00 THE JUNCTION - wi. Orion arm - BRISTOL
THU 6 Mar - 20:00 THE GRAND UNION - wi. With Scissors, Arion Arm - KENTISH TOWN LONDON
FRI 7 Mar - 20:00 THE BRIDGE HOUSE - wi. With Scissors, Orion Arm, Whitemare - COPSALE
SAT 8 Mar - 20:00 THE HIVE - wi. With Scissors, Orion Arm - EDINBURGH
SUN 9 Mar - 20:00 13th NOTE - wi. With Scissors, Orion Arm - GLASGOW
We shall be rounding up a H.O.P. Mosh Squad to go to The Grand Union next week. If you're going remember to bring a lighter in case they do a ballad.
Some of Joe's other TeamRider qualifications are:
He's got tattoos*
He turn up for work when he brokenHe doesn't take himself too seriously
He's also couriered in two different cities ( Glasgow and Edinburgh ) which I think will be a requirement for all H.O.P. TeamRiders.
What Joe doesn't know yet is that he has one year to get a photo of a H.O.P. shirt in KERRANG! or he's getting kicked off the team.
* Hey Joe where's your Pistard tattoo? Two people have already got one, you can still make the podium.
